Gus, “the cranky cat,” is a large, handsome and supercilious grey cat who generally greets visitors to the Petaluma Animal Shelter with a yawn. Like many cats he has “affection issues” and insists on human-feline communication on his own, often hands-off, terms. Because he has Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV or “kitty AIDS”), he needs to be an only cat, with people who understand he marches to the beat of a different drummer.

Despite, or because of, his Capital-A Attitude, Gus has been Tweeting in typical Gus style for the past two months. Here’s a sample:

I’m not adopted yet: obviously nobody around here has good taste. I’d also like some tuna, a new bed and an iPhone.

Sometimes they let me out for exercise, so I head straight for the birds or rat cage – then someone yells “@%*)#$ GUS” and back I go. Bah!

I’m the George Clooney of cats. I gotz a way with the ladies and I’m not boring. RAWR!

I’m the fastest swatter in California … I could hit for the Giants.

You might see other cats in our shelter, but only I come with a mustache.

Ready for the weekend. I get to torment guinea pigs, bug volunteers and break into the snack drawer. Par-Tay!

I’m over it here. I want to get adopted and move to Hawaii. I got dreams! At this point, I’ll settle for Novato.

I wish they made video games for cats. I have nothing to do since they put the parakeet in the other room.

If I’m not adopted this week, I’m calling my lawyer.

Read more about the shelter here.